Last night I watched a Netflix documentary called Feminists, What were they thinking?
It. Was. Fucking. Enlightening.
First and foremost, we (I) take so much for granted these days, we forget 98 years ago, women in American (AMERICA) didn't have the right to vote. Literally, less than a 100 years ago.
I'm not gonna go into the vastness of this topic, but if there was one sentence that stuck to me, is this quote by non other than Jane Fonda:
"I've only known for ten years that "no" is a complete sentence".
What a powerful statement.
We, as girls, teens and women, are continuously raised and taught to be pleasant. To be accommodating. To think of the other side's feelings (especially when it comes to sexual rejection).
If we MUST refuse somebody, do it gently. Be kind.
Show compassion for the other side's hurt feelings.
Explain yourself. Elaborate why it is you're refusing.
Apologize for saying "no".
Have the other side reassure you that it's ok to decline offers.
Thank the other side for being understanding.
When in fact, all we have to say, is "no".
That single word, should be enough.
We *should* have control over who we'd like to go on a date with (rather than resorting to "I have a boyfriend"),
We *should* be able to walk the streets in our own city without truck drivers honking and yelling obscenities at us as they drive away, leaving us powerless and helpless to retort,
We *should* be able to stop any sexual activity going on the minute it becomes uncomfortable for us without having to explain why,
We *should* be able to walk alone in the park without fearing robbery, rape or death.
But we're not, not any of these things.
Because we don't get a choice.
Life's circumstances dictate not to walk alone in the park, not to go up to a guy's place bc he'll interpret it as consent and you wouldn't be able to back out if you wanted to, to lie and say you have a bf just bc you can't be bothered with the aftermath of saying "no".
Well, if Jane Fonda only found this out at the age of 70, and I'm 30 years old, at least I have those extra 40 years to practice this.
"No", is a complete sentence.
End of story.